surprising reason why you are procrastinating
You are not lazy. You think you just don’t have what it takes to make it happen. And while motivation and focus helps in pursuing a goal, the battle that goes on in our minds has a lot more to do with it.
So, why do we procrastinate? It’s our perfectionism that gets in the way. Perfectionism show up in more than one way. Have you ever spent time on research and more research and you put off the next step because you are in the “learning” stage? That’s perfectionism. Or, you find yourself looking at your calendar trying to make sure this happens at the most optimal time? That’s perfectionism. Or, you fear letting people down, especially yourself. I know this very well because I have lived it for most of my life- still in recovery.
Perfectionism gets the best of us and it’s not your fault. Whether it’s social media or how you were raised, for most of the spaces we encounter on a daily basis we are asked to put our best foot forward. Which also means, we don’t get to see the messiness and all the detours of a person’s journey.
So, is it possible to learn to work with our perfectionism and overcome procrastination? Yes.
how not to procrastinate
Be compassionate & curious However your perfectionism appears, it’s a deep fear of rejection. Notice when it comes up and find ways to nurture that part of you. You might journal about it. You might talk to your therapist or coach. You might just sit with the feeling.
Adjust your big outcome into small outcomes For example, if you want to run a marathon, rather than setting “run a marathon” as your outcome, you might adjust it to “run two miles this week”, or “stick to a running schedule this month”. Making smaller outcomes along the way that will eventually get you to the big outcome is less overwhelming and less room in our brains to try to make it perfect.
Just do it regardless of your thoughts Your brain is made to keep you safe. It likes what’s familiar. So, before you get into thinking your way into action, just do it. Even if it’s one tiny step. Do that one tiny thing.
Journal this. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” This is my personal favorite. When you can name the worst things that can happen if this pursuit doesn’t work out or if you really put yourself out there, more than likely, it will lessen your fears.
you can do this
Remember, change is hard. But being stuck in a place we don’t like is harder. I encourage you to show up this week with compassion and curiosity. No one wants to procrastinate. And while it’s a learned behavior and a defense mechanism, we can re-learn and show up differently as a way of loving ourselves.
